One thing I’ve noticed about the vast majority of Muslim women is that many of them have the same fault – they base their identities on who they’re married to. This is a major problem and actually it goes against how Muslim women saw themselves for centuries. Even the wives of Muhammad (Allah be pleased with them all and peace and blessings of Allah be upon the Prophet) were known as the mothers of the believers, which helped them establish meaningful lives after the death of the Prophet.
If women were more focused on our own intrinsic identities, for example, “I’m Amatullah” instead of “I’m so-and-so’s wife”, our egos wouldn’t take such a huge bashing when we find our relationship status being challenged.
Let me ask you:
- How many men take their wives’ names?
- How many men introduce themselves as “I’m so-and-so’s husband”?
- How many men gain status amongst their peers by bragging about their wife’s occupation?
Sisters, you are you. There’s nothing wrong with being a devoted wife, a loving mother, a tenacious scientist, a stylish dresser, or a great public speaker. But you’re not going to own any of these areas until you belong to yourself and your Lord first and foremost.
Have you ever really belonged to yourself?